About Emma
Emma Clarke is a leading female voiceover and comedy/drama writer. She voices all kinds of things from advertisements to radio identity packages – but is best known as the ‘voice of the London Underground’.
Previous postings
- Cutting edge discussion: how to say road names in a commercial
- Facing the nation on the telly – the key issues
- Unaccustomed as I am...
- Mind the Gap: The inside story of a very British fiasco
- Awkward Advertising: BT’s Adam and Jane ads
- Translate these phrases into actual English and you’ll win a prize!*
- Excuse me, would you like to rent my mouth?
- Awkward Advertising: John Prescott the boxer
- Awkward Advertising: JLS Wii Party
- Awkward Advertising: Nice ‘n’ Easy’s Dance class ad
- Awkward Advertising: The Boots ‘Not giving gifts this year’ ad
- Awkward Advertising: Halifax’s “ISA ISA Baby” TV ad
- Awkward Advertising: that bloody Match Affinity commercial
Archives
Now I know what you’re thinking...
Tuesday
May 27 2008
I know it’s been a long time since my last post. I know my absence from cyber-land might be seen as slack-arsed laziness, but Reader, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve been working like A TROJAN, spending all day every day (except my birthday if we’re being picky) voicing like a bitch. I’ve also been writing a lot. Not blogs, obviously, but I have been working on my Magnum Hopeless. Hell, I’m STILL working on it and may well be for some considerable time to come. But today, my email server’s down which means there’s a stack of email waiting to land in my Inbox, so while I have these stolen moments, I thought I’d fill the time by doing what I most want to do – write my blogs.
So what’s new in my insular little world?
Well, I’ve got a glowing mouse for my laptop. It’s fantastic, it changes colour and everything! I’ve got a couple of new hanging baskets. A whizzy new Dictaphone. A slo-cooker. Er…
You can tell I lead a jetset lifestyle, can’t you?
One thing that IS new is the brand-spanking comments facility on this blog! So do feel free to add your ramblings to mine and we can ramble together through a virtual thicket of words. I welcome your contributions.
I’ve been very unlucky with my IT set up. My tech guy tells me I’m the unluckiest woman, techno-wise, he’s ever come across. You know how in the tale of yore Midas used to touch things and they turned to gold? Well, I’m the reverse of that. I’m Sadim, the woman who touches a computer and it instantly melts, falls apart and turns to a small pile of black rust.
BOTH my servers died. Yes, BOTH of them. Because of my appalling history with computers (ie they all commit suicide when I look at them) I’m paranoid about having backups. So my office used to have enough computer hardware to power NASA, hence the two server scenario. Anyway, they both croaked. Loudly, actually. And it was only when my tech guy genius was dismantling them that we found a dead mouse welded to the back of the machine we’d jokily referred to as ‘King Dong.’ My cats are the Ronnie and Reggie of the cat kingdom and are skilled serial killers. I often come downstairs in a morning to a vision of vole carnage on the kitchen floor. Anyway, at least we found the source of the horrible smell that had permeated the office. I’d been unfairly blaming Sweetman. So now I’m serverless, relying on a complex backup system involving numerous computers dotted about the globe which – and this is crucial – I shall never see or touch.
I’ve voiced all sorts of things over the past couple of months. Loads of radio and TV ads, corporate stuff and so on. I’ve been working on a fab new podcast which, fate permitting, should become a regular feature – more to follow soon. I’ve just finished a big project for a kids’ educational site – again, more to follow when the PR guys take my muzzle off.
I haven’t been able to do the Edinburgh festival as I’d hoped; this writing job I’ve had on has soaked up all my time but I’d love to do it at a small venue as soon as my commitments allow.
But here in my little office with my little studio, it’s business as usual. Me and The Sweetman (my male counterpart, voiceover and quiz-show host extraordinaire, Rich Sweetman) still do our sparkling wine / scratchcard / beat the intro game ritual every Friday. On sunny days we have a barbecue. Nothing meaty for me, mind, what with being veggie. While Sweetman’s tucking into bison kebabs, I’m nibbling a chargrilled courgette.
So even though my blog may be silent, remember, I am ever toiling. And you, dear Reader, are ever close to my heart.
2 comments · add a comment · this blog is moderated
Emma Clarke takes no responsibility for any comments below, as these do not necessarily represent her views.
Steve
27 May 2008 at
05:35
Welcome back. You have been sorely missed, at least by this blog reader. I can sympathise with the vole carnage after this very morning at 05:17 been woken up by my cat spitting out a live mouse onto my duvet. The GF is signing up for therapy as I type, having being the unfortunate recipient of a high-speed mouse making a dash for freedom straight over her head and embedding itself under the pillow, rapidly followed by Ollie doing the same thing in a bid to prevent the little bleeder from getting away. Ollie was thrown into the kitchen, the mouse was retrieved from the pillow completely unharmed and released into the garden and I left Angela clutching a bottle of vodka and shaking like a shitting dog as I left for work. Cats eh! God love 'em.
Sarah
02 June 2008 at
08:38
'Bout time you bloomin' lazy bag! - Making out like you've been all busy indeed! Huh, we know you've been denying us the joy of your bloggin' for no better reason than you've been hiding under your duvet eating Dime bars. We know, we know we know, you know. Anyway, nice to see you back. Thanks for finally givin' the waiting audience what we need... Loving it Missus x