Other people’s conversations

Other people’s conversations

Mar 23 2009

I’ll admit it, I’m nosey. As a child, my mother was always telling me not to stare at strangers. Now I’m all grown up, the staring has graduated into ‘people watching’ and I’ve perfected my technique to such a degree that I’ve only been threatened twice in the past year.

I love eavesdropping too. I was in a National Trust tea room on Saturday and heard the following, spoken by a well-dressed middle-aged lady with bifocals and a perm. She was chatting to a friend over a pot of tea and a flapjack.

“He was my decorator. I’d had HRT. Nature took its course,” she said. And in three simple phrases she’d givenme characters, plot, subtext and a wonderful euphemism for a paste-splattered collision.

I could picture the decorator, all dungareed and paint-smudged descending his ladder with a brush in his pocket. And the woman, released from the tyranny of hot-flushes and arid genitals suddenly grasping undercoat in a whole new way.

It wasn’t quite in the same league as Hemingway’s brilliant ‘flash fiction’ six word short story (“For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.”) but it comes close.

Reader, I nearly laughed out loud.

Whichreminds me, I had a conversation with a woman a couple of weeks ago who used LOL as as actual word.

“Oh, that’s funny,“ she trilled. “LOL!!”

“I’m sorry?” I said.

“LOL,“ she said. “I’m indicating that I’m laughing out loud.”

“Oh,“ I said. “But I’m standing right in front of you. I can see you’re laughing and, Lord help us, everyone within half a mile knows you’re doing it loudly.”

I waited for her to introduce LMFAO or RAFL into the conversation but sadly, I was left wanting...

3 comments · add a comment · this blog is moderated

Emma Clarke takes no responsibility for any comments below, as these do not necessarily represent her views.

The Paranoid Android
24 March 2009 at 02:13

To LOL out loud has an acronym of its own: LOLOL.

10 July 2009 at 12:57

hi again. inserting text speak into real world conversations? *puts head in hands* oh no! what an excressence. that's awful news that! lol! oops, not lol at all.

06 February 2010 at 09:21

it's actually ROFL not RAFL x]